Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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