I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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