and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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