she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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