all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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