i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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