what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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