Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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