There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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