I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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