Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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