ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
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I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
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You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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