What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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