i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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