i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
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