I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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