So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
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hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
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He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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