He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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