he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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