My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
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any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
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i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize