I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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