Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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