Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
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He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
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I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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