I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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