Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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