i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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