I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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