I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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