weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
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then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
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But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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