yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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