I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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