It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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