I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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