You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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