Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize