thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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