I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Text me some of your sweat
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
