i'm signing you up for texting rehab
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Randomize