found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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