At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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