I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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