just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize