i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize