Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
i think my cat just said my name.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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