WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize