So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
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