Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize