Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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