I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
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I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
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Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
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