She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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