his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize