physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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