My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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